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	<title>The Philipic &#187; Humor</title>
	<atom:link href="http://philipic.net/category/humor/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://philipic.net</link>
	<description>It's not just ranting.</description>
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		<title>Armistice Day</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2010/11/11/armistace-day/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2010/11/11/armistace-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Nov 2010 12:24:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=584</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I recently came across the character of Lieutenant General Lewis Burwell &#8220;Chesty&#8221; Puller.  Lt. Gen. Puller was in charge of a Marine division at the battle of Chosin Reservoir in the Korean War, in which 1st Marine Division was surrounded and cut off deep behind enemy lines and proceeded to fight their way back to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p id="firstHeading">I recently came across the character of Lieutenant General Lewis Burwell &#8220;Chesty&#8221; Puller.  Lt. Gen. Puller was in charge of a Marine division at the battle of Chosin Reservoir in the Korean War, in which 1st Marine Division was surrounded and cut off deep behind enemy lines and proceeded to fight their way back to UN lines.  He became known for several of his witticisms regarding their dire situation:</p>
<blockquote><p>All right, they&#8217;re on our left, they&#8217;re on our right, they&#8217;re in front of<br />
us, they&#8217;re behind us&#8230;they can&#8217;t get away this time</p></blockquote>
<p>Responding to a question about being surrounded by the Chinese:</p>
<blockquote><p>They are a damn site better than the U.S. Army, at least we know that they<br />
will be there in the morning.</p></blockquote>
<p>He also had subtle criticism of the Air Force:</p>
<blockquote><p>The mail service has been excellent out here, and in my  opinion this is all that the<br />
Air Force has accomplished during the war.</p></blockquote>
<p>Remarking on their chances of breaking out from Chosin:</p>
<blockquote><p>There are not enough Chinamen in the world to stop a fully armed Marine regiment<br />
from going where ever they want to go.</p></blockquote>
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		<item>
		<title>Fortunes Received Over the Years</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2010/10/03/fortunes-received-over-the-years/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2010/10/03/fortunes-received-over-the-years/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Oct 2010 18:14:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=563</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Alas!  The onion you are eating is someone else&#8217;s water lily. Digital circuits are made from analog parts See life through the eyes of a child, then you become truly wise. If your cookie is in 2 pieces, the answer is yes. You may be hungry soon: order takeout now. It&#8217;s better to be the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<ul>
<li>Alas!  The onion you are eating is someone else&#8217;s water lily.</li>
<li>Digital circuits are made from analog parts</li>
<li>See life through the eyes of a child, then you become truly wise.</li>
<li>If your cookie is in 2 pieces, the answer is yes.</li>
<li>You may be hungry soon: order takeout now.</li>
<li>It&#8217;s better to be the beak of a hen than the tail of an ox.</li>
<li>Pick another fortune cookie.</li>
<li>We secure our friends not be accepting favors, but by doing them.</li>
<li>Great! You&#8217;re ready for a party.</li>
<li>Hardly anyone knows how much is gained by ignoring the future.</li>
<li>It tastes sweet.</li>
<li>We are very happy together.</li>
<li>Hard words break no bones, fine words butter no parsnips.</li>
<li>You are the only flower of meditation in the wilderness.</li>
<li>An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.</li>
<li>Be careful!  Bees with honey in their mouths have stings in their tails.</li>
<li>The rubber bands are all pointing in the right direction.</li>
<li>Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far.</li>
<li>Use your instincts now.</li>
<li>If your cookie is in 3 pieces, the answer is no.</li>
<li>Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake.</li>
</ul>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Best Video of the Day</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2010/09/24/best-video-of-the-day/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2010/09/24/best-video-of-the-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Sep 2010 10:21:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=557</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Starts slow, but get to the :26 mark &#8211; trust me, it&#8217;s worth it.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Starts slow, but get to the :26 mark &#8211; trust me, it&#8217;s worth it.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="480" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xMBYvKFdeiE?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xMBYvKFdeiE?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Ethically Questionable Gummy Bear Surgery</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2010/04/27/ethically-questionable-gummy-bear-surgery/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2010/04/27/ethically-questionable-gummy-bear-surgery/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:22:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=438</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Instructables, via LikeCool. Is it ethical to transplant the brain of one gummy bear into the head of another?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.instructables.com/id/Gummi-Bear-Surgery/step7/Brain-transplants/">Instructables</a>, via <a href="http://www.likecool.com/Experimental_Gummy_Bear_Surgeries--Other--Gear.html">LikeCool</a>.</p>
<p>Is it ethical to transplant the brain of one gummy bear into the head of another?</p>
<p><a href="http://philipic.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/brain_transplant_1.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-439" title="brain_transplant_1" src="http://philipic.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/brain_transplant_1-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a><a href="http://philipic.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/brain_transplant_2.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-440" title="brain_transplant_2" src="http://philipic.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/brain_transplant_2-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>I kid you not, this is a real product.</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/09/02/i-kid-you-not-this-is-a-real-product/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/09/02/i-kid-you-not-this-is-a-real-product/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:43:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Odd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=334</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I came across this on TechBargains, and I think it was put there more as a joke than anything.  Here is the description: May I pour you some more bubbly, Sharksters? No? You&#8217;d prefer a wine cooler, perhaps? Great. Sip on that for a moment. Then let me divert your attention to the moon overhead. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="344" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/d_H2gqaqO7o&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/d_H2gqaqO7o&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>I came across this on <a href="www.techbargains.com">TechBargains</a>, and I think it was put there more as a joke than anything.  Here is the description:</p>
<p><span id="more-334"></span></p>
<blockquote><p>May I pour you some more bubbly, Sharksters? No? You&#8217;d prefer a wine cooler, perhaps? Great. Sip on that for a moment. Then let me divert your attention to the moon overhead. Beautiful, isn&#8217;t it? You see, every once in a blue moon, ChronoShark smiles upon our Automatic Watch enthusiasts. And what&#8217;s that overhead? That&#8217;s right, Sharksters. It&#8217;s a blue moon, and it&#8217;s beautiful.</p>
<p>Are you ready to take your watch collection to the next level? If you own multiple automatic watches and don&#8217;t have a multi-slot watch winder, you don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;ve been missing! An automatic watch winder keeps your watch perfectly wound and keeping time when you&#8217;re not wearing it! Founded in 1834 and still family-owned, Wolf Designs is the recognized leader in luxurious and advanced automatic watch rotators. Swiss movement engineering is what distinguishes Wolf Designs&#8217; hand-crafted rotators as the ultimate way to preserve the time and date on your favorite automatic timepieces! Other watch winders may over or under-wind luxurious timepieces like Cartier, Baume Mercier, or Panerai. Why would anyone choose anything less than the patented technology of the industry leader? Today, ChronoShark is super-excited to offer an unprecedented deal on this brand-new and authentic Wolf Designs Module 2.0 three slot rotator!</p>
<p>A watch winder is a must-have accessory for people that don&#8217;t wear their automatic watch every day or for those with multiple automatic watches in their collection. Automatic watches operate using a self-winding mechanism which utilizes a moving weight within the watch case. The natural movement of the wearer&#8217;s wrist causes the weight to spin and the spring to be wound. Typically, when not worn for over a day, the power stored is depleted and the watch stops&#8230; which, of course, means you&#8217;ll need to reset the time the next time you want to wear it.</p>
<p>Watch winders work by rotating an inserted automatic watch in circular patterns mimicking natural human movements. This motion keeps your watch perfectly wound and keeping precise time! If you have more than one automatic watch, this watch winder will certainly be put to good use!</p>
<p>The Wolf Designs Module 2.0 Three Slot Rotator doesn&#8217;t just keep your watch perfectly wound, it also protects your watch from problems that other rotators may often cause. The winder incorporates a patented sleep cycle pattern to better simulate natural wear. This means that the watch will rotate for a total of 6 hours a day and &#8216;sleep&#8217; for 18 hours (a blinking LED indicates sleep mode). This critical sleep cycle allows the mainspring to unwind &#8211; the way it would with normal wear. The winder also utilizes a selectable delay timer to delay the start of winding by either 10 seconds or 12 hours, further ensuring that the mechanism inside your watch is not wound more than it should be. Regardless of the weight or size of your watch, it will rotate precisely 600 times per day (other rotators may over- or under-rotate light or heavy watches). This level of accuracy is provided by Wolf Designs&#8217; proprietary integrated quartz-eye counter.</p>
<p>Renowned not just for their function, Wolf Designs winders are truly works of art that you will be proud to display in your home! The rotator features a rich black Genuine leather covered hardwood case with 3 rotators plus additional storage for 4 watches and a removable travel case for 1 more watch, making it the perfect storage solution for your growing collection. Nylon gears make this rotator super-quiet and its lovely design will enhance the decor of any room! The rotator is powered by either 110/220 AC power (works internationally) or with D cell batteries (battery life is approximately 4-6 months). Plus, the motor is shielded from electrical emissions. This absolutely critical feature ensures that your watch will not become magnetized!</p></blockquote>
<p>The &#8220;sale price&#8221; was $450.  Apparently, &#8220;automatic watches&#8221; are watches that are powered through human movement, so this product mimics natural movement in order to maintain the state of the watch.  Sheesh</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Why Everything Sucks.</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/07/27/why-everything-sucks/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/07/27/why-everything-sucks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:41:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interesting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=317</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Funny, but more true than humorous.  Via Jonah Goldberg:]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Funny, but more true than humorous.  Via <a href="http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OTEzMzI4YzBhYmU2MjBjMDcxNTk0MGRjMTYzODI4NTc=">Jonah Goldberg</a>:</p>
<p><object width="425" height="344" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/xFQkMAPVoIo&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xFQkMAPVoIo&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Living with First-Person Shooter Disease</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/07/06/living-with-first-person-shooter-disease/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/07/06/living-with-first-person-shooter-disease/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:56:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=290</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Via LikeCOOL]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Via <a href="http://likecool.com/">LikeCOOL</a></p>
<p><object width="425" height="344" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/-jBKKV2V8eU&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;hl=zh_CN&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-jBKKV2V8eU&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;hl=zh_CN&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Baseball Cheezburgers</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/05/22/baseball-cheezburgers/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/05/22/baseball-cheezburgers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 11:17:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=263</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Seattle Mariner&#8217;s show respect to their legions of LOLCAT fans with Cheezburger Night. It&#8217;s a Cheezburger Night wif the Seattle Mariners!!!1! (Safeco Field on Thursday, July 9) Bring awl of ur frends and familee 2 dis fun event. We will haz sum awesum pre-game festivitiez and u can meet sum noo Cheez Frends! And [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The Seattle Mariner&#8217;s show respect to their legions of LOLCAT fans with <a href="http://seattle.mariners.mlb.com/sea/ticketing/special_group.jsp?group=cheezburger">Cheezburger Night</a>.</p>
<blockquote><p>It&#8217;s a Cheezburger Night wif the Seattle Mariners!!!1! (Safeco Field on Thursday, July 9) Bring awl of ur frends and familee 2 dis fun event. We will haz sum awesum pre-game festivitiez and u can meet sum noo Cheez Frends! And if u buy ur tickets thru dis speshul offer, u git a FREE Cheezburger Nite t-shirt! Woo hoo!!1!! C u awl der!</p></blockquote>
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		<item>
		<title>Something seems to be missing</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/04/20/something-seems-to-be-missing/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/04/20/something-seems-to-be-missing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:57:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=254</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ever get to work and realize you&#8217;ve forgotten something?  The hapless Washington Natinals have those kind of days too.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ever get to work and realize you&#8217;ve forgotten something?  The hapless Washington Natinals have those kind of days too.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-255" title="natinals" src="http://philipic.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/natinals.jpg" alt="natinals" width="269" height="353" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Nuclear Grade Duct Tape</title>
		<link>http://philipic.net/2009/02/26/nuclear-grade-duct-tape/</link>
		<comments>http://philipic.net/2009/02/26/nuclear-grade-duct-tape/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:08:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>belisarius</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://philipic.net/?p=217</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[No, I am not kidding. Available on Amazon.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.3m.com/us/mfg_industrial/indtape/duct/properties_n.html">No, I am not kidding.</a></p>
<p>Available on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000NG3ZKI/ref=nosim/gizmodo-20">Amazon</a>.</p>
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